Part V - The First 'Meeting'

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Salams brothers and sisters. Last time we got to the point where i agreed to be in contact with this sister who the brother had suggested. So he gave me her email and i emailed her. i was opne about everything. Sure, it can be a little nerve racking at first because you're speaking to a non Mahram. Feeling nervous is completelt normal at this point. But you know its what you have to do because you're heart has spoken!

A humble piece of advice: be completely open about your intentions; you're doing something extremely loved by Allah so why should you worry? Don't try to cover your thoughts and feelings with humour or sarcasm - how would you feel if the other did that to you? You want them to be completely open with you, right? So be the same with her/him. If they don't want to go ahead or dislike something, you want them to tell you, so be the same with them. From day 1, make it clear that you'd like him/her to be completely honest and open about everything with you, and not to hold back because of shyness. Because honesty is soooooo important, esp when it comes to this, right? ;) Also, don't wait for the other to take the first step or 'break the ice' - you be the one to initiate it. Remember the other can't read your mind just as you can't read theirs, so just say what you're thinking or feeling no matter how stupid you think it may appear to be; if they're worth it, they will never laugh or look down on you for that. Rather, your relationship will be solidified due to being founded on such honesty if you decide to go ahead, and you will know for sure if this person isn't compatible with you instead of being in doubt about it.

So i told her, its my first time and i do feel a little nervous, but trusting in God, i would like to speak to you to consider if we would be compatible for marriage. And she replied the same way to my email. Soon we spoke [through messenger] online. It was the first time i was conversing like this with a non mahram, so i was just baffled about what to say really. i don't remember what we spoke about, but it wasn't really what i wanted to get out of it. Because it was the first time.
However, after the first convo, i realized that i just needed to ask the q's that mattered to me - that's it. So for next time we spoke, i decided that i would do just that.