Thank you to all my bros and sisters for the 'likes' and the beautiful words... got me bare gassed lol! Seriously, its the first time i'm writing about myself so openly so to tell you the truth i was kinda nervous. But your encouragement has given me the motivation and hype to continue. Thank you God for such beautiful friends! Thank you all soooo much!!
Okayy, so where were we? Now that the intro's done, let's get stuck in!
After i returned from Ziyarat to the holy shrines of Ahlulbayt (as), i felt very much alone. i knew that no one understood me. i knew i was on a journey, a journey to God, with Ahlulbayt (as) as my parents who watered my soul with their love and affection. i would talk to them a lot and feel their presence. For i believe that they are alive and we are dead and we seek life through them. The place you become intimate with them is your heart. Nowhere else.
i began feeling like i needed someone in my life. i needed a companion to travel with. This was a huge emotional/spiritual need that i felt lacking in my heart. Did i know any pious sisters i could consider? Well, there were some sisters who i didn't know anything about except that their covering Hijab was good and they seemed like decent people. After all, i was never the type to hang around girls; how would i have proper deep info about sisters?! i did think about considering these sisters to myself, but never really approached any of them. i felt like i needed someone to really understand me, on a deeper level. Someone who had the same direction and the same aim. i wanted someone who would be next to me in everything i did.
So i turned to Ahlulbayt (as). i'm not acting pious but i have to tell the truth. i would turn to Allah with the wasilah of the Ahlulbayt (as) constantly, every night, and with my heart cry out: please send me someone! please place the person in my life! i would tell Ahlulbayt (as) whatever was in my heart. And this was one of the biggest things in my heart at the time.
So this was probably the biggest thing going through my self at the time. It wasn't due to desires that i really wanted to 'tie the knot' (lol!), but because of this emptiness that i knew was due to not being married. It's not for no reason that its 'half your seen' now is it?
Personally, i had a strong belief that if the sister has 3 qualities, nothing else matters and everything will fall into place. These are that she (1) has the same aim in life as me (2) has a desire to improve herself (3) does the basic Wajibat, practices what she knows.
i would never consider someone with a lot of 'knowledge' about Islam who doesn't feel the need to improve herself. But i knew that if i met someone who did not know much, but sincerely practiced what she did know, i would definitely consider her. Sincerity, sincerity...
Did i try Muslim marriage websites? Well, yeah, i tried. Until i realized that the minimum age to join was 18 -_-
Btw, you know you're Muslim when you have 'singlemuslim.com' ads coming at you whenever you're on youtube. Don't know how that's related but thought i would share it anyway. lol - randomness!
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