Some Things That Need To Change

In the name of Allah

Assalamu Alaikum! Allah says in the Qur'an that He does not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves. 

Here are some things that i feel need to change about us as a community.

# 1 - Racism
When Arabs think they are better than others, when Iranians think their culture is the best, when Pakistanis think everyone else's food is inferior... when people say Najaf is better than Qum only because they themselves are from Najaf and vice versa. When we feel so proud over something... that isn't an achievement. You didn't choose which country to be from. In the Qur'an Allah says that the entire earth belongs to Him and that those who are righteous will inherit it.

Also, when people look down on an entire people simply because of the politics of that country. So for example when we hate Americans because of what the government is doing. Very unfair.

And the real test comes when a person asks for your daughter's hand... and he isn't from your culture. He is pious - you are happy with his religion and his Akhlaq - but there is no way he can be part of your family... because his skin colour is black. Real religious.

# 2 - Taboo On Mut'ah

Parents. Either you speak to your children about it... or they will speak to someone else about it. Simple. It is your decision. And before you speak to them about it, know what it is and who permitted it. The Qur'an says that it is not for the believers to have a choice in their matter after Allah and His messenger (s) decree something. If we still feel we are entitled to an opinion, then our Iman is in question.

It is being misused? Okay, but why is it being misused? Is it because the youth are just evil... or is it because no one has bothered to explain it to them properly? Is the answer, in that case, to just not speak about it... or is it to address the topic head on? Is it to brush it under the carpet... or to educate ourselves and others about Islam, this most beautiful and complete way of life?

i know it can be difficult to see things from another perspective when you've had bad experience of it. But to be fair, many non Muslims associate Islam with terrorism and think that Muslim women carry bombs beneath their Hijab. What would you say to them? 'Look at the religion and not the people', 'be open', 'there are good and bad in every religion', 'don't judge Islam on the actions of some people' ...Then shouldn't we apply the same principles ourselves?

# 3 - Relationship Between Parents And Children
You have not had a relationship with your child for 18 years and now you are wondering why they did what they did? Why didn't they come to you? Why weren't they open to you? Why can't my children confide in me? Well, it is very simple: because you haven't been a friend to them. We will confide in people who have qualities of caring for us, loving us, thinking well of us i.e. friendship. This is human nature.

'But of course I love my children!'

Yes, there is no doubt about this. But loving them is NOT ENOUGH. You must SHOW THEM that you love them. Make them FEEL LOVED. From day 1, make a point of telling them how much they mean to you. Kiss them, hug them... without any reason! Not because they got an A on their maths test, not because they did something amazing... just because they are your children! Didn't the prophet (s) kiss Hassan and Hussain (a)? Didn't he play with them? Wouldn't they sit on his back and he would pretend to be their horse?! Don't say 'that doesn't apply because they are special!' In fact, i think i will make this the next 'problem' that needs to change: 'it doesn't apply to us because they are special'. 

Anyway, so if you are a friend to your children from day 1, then you will not face such problems 18 years later inshaAllah. Children, teenagers and human beings in general, are like flowers. We need to be showered with love. The early years of our lives are what really shape our personality. It is the time we are the most delicate and vulnerable. It is the time we need to be shown the most love. If you don't give your children that love, then how can you blame them for seeking it elsewhere?

# 4 - 'It Doesn't Apply To Us Because They Are Special'
'Yeah we have all these problems, but hey we're not special. We're not the Prophet (s). We are not the Ahlulbayt (a)' So basically, we won't change ourselves. All our mistakes, shortcomings, sins... they are all OK because 'hey, we are not special'.

Correction: you are special. Allah has blown of His spirit inside you. That's why He says that some human beings are more astray than cattle. Because they ARE special but choose not to be. 'We have honoured the children of Adam...' Allah says. Acknowledge your specialness and your ability to soar in the heavens... not because of your own self, but because of the One Who created you. You are His creation on whose creation He lauded Himself and said: 'So blessed be Allah, the best of Creators'. That is deep. Reflect.

# 5 - Hypocrisy
Brother, debating on Twitter to 'defend the truth' and then sleeping through Fajr... is not defending the truth. Truth is clear. It doesn't need me, you or anyone to defend it. If we accept it we benefit. If we don't then we lose out. Simple. Let's not delude ourselves into thinking the Ahlulbayt (a) need us to defend them. They don't. We are the ones who need the religion and the religion does not need us. It is the religion that protects and defends us and not vice versa.

Speaking about Islam in public... but behaving badly to your family.
Saying your faith is the most important thing to you... but the first thing to be compromised when it comes to 'important things' like weddings, is Islam.
Taking pride in your 'Islamic culture'... while you don't even know what Islam is because if you did you would know it is a culture of its own and a world of its own.
Saying 'you must learn Arabic because Qur'an is in Arabic'... but you don't even read the Qur'an.

The list is endless...

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i'll stop there but there are loads more things too. InshaAllah we can change ourselves. 

Barikallahu Fikum. 

Salaam - Peace.