Having rumours spread about you can be one of the most hurtful things.
So many hearts have been wounded by hurtful words circulating in communities throughout history.
i thoughts i would write my thoughts on this subject, so here they are...
Why are rumours spread?
There are two reasons that rumours are usually spread.
Between yourself and Allah, you know which category you fall under. This isn't a question of arrogance but a question of knowing one's self, which is essential in fulfilling our purpose as human beings. Indeed, it is important to acknowledge one's strengths, that one may build on them, as well as one's weaknesses, that one may eradicate them.
The two reasons rumours are spread about you are:
(1) You have a bad character. You shamelessly indulge in shameful activities. And you are proud of publicly disobeying Allah.
(2) You have a good character. You try hard to refrain from shameful activities. You do your utmost to obey Allah in secret and in open.
If the first case is applicable, then one should seriously ponder over the consequences of such a lifestyle. As such, one should not blame others for stating what one proudly declares.
The second case is more interesting. Surely, the natural human response would be to ask: but why would rumours be spread about a sincere person with a pure heart who puts others before themselves?
In both cases, rumours being spread are an attestation to the reality of your character. In the first case, rumours circulating in the community testify that you have darkened your heart by forgetting Allah and have allowed the seeds of arrogance, lust, gluttony... to be planted in your heart, to be nurtured and grow into strong, grounded plants.
And in the second case, the circulation of rumours attests to the purity of your heart, the beauty of your soul, and the sincerity of your nature. Sometimes such brothers and sisters come forward and say: i am hurt by the rumours that others have spread about me. But what hurts me more is the fact that i am hurt by them! i shouldn't care what others think, if i know that Allah is pleased with me.
My heart goes out for these brothers and sisters...
My brother. My sister. Allah knows, and He loves you, and He cares about you. He knows how hurtful it is when rumours are spread about you... that is why He has mentioned this very issue in the Qur'an for you. So seek solace in Him and hold on to Him and know that His remembrance is the healing of the hearts and the light of the hearts and the key to an intimacy that will make you needless of others. And know that your real friends will never believe the word of another about you over your word. Your true friend will never allow what is spoken by their tongues to enter into their hearts. Your true friend defends you in your absence. And if they see something harmful in you which will hurt you they inform you out of sincere love for you and genuine feelings towards you.
Remember the 'sign of Allah' who is the very definition of purity, the blessed lady Maryam (Mary), peace be upon her, who Allah chose over all the women of the worlds.
Let us look at the beautiful chapter of Maryam in the blessed Qur'an:
And mention in the Book, Mary, when she withdrew from her family to a place toward the east.
And she took, in seclusion from them, a screen. Then We sent to her Our Angel, and he represented himself to her as a well-proportioned man.
She said, "Indeed, I seek refuge in the Most Merciful from you, [so leave me], if you should be conscious of Allah"
He said, "I am only the messenger of your Lord to give you [news of] a pure boy"
She said, "How can I have a boy while no man has touched me and I have not been unchaste?"
He said, "Thus [it will be]; your Lord says, 'It is easy for Me, and We will make him a sign to the people and a mercy from Us. And it is a matter [already] decreed"
(Qur'an 19:16-21)
Imagine... such a pure human being. And guess what? People spread rumours about her and even accused her to her face:
Then she brought him to her people, carrying him. They said, "O Maryam, you have certainly done a thing unprecedented.
O sister of Haroon! Your father was not a man of evil, nor was your mother unchaste!
(Qur'an 19:27-28)
Sounds familiar, doesn't it? Sounds so so familiar... and i'm certain that the 'Haram police' who accuse my brothers, and especially my sisters, of indecency - in their absolute and utter ignorance - simply from hearing something... would definitely accuse Lady Maryam if they saw that she was carrying her child in her arms with their own eyes.
So my dear brother, my dear sister,
i know it hurts. And Allah knows. And He cares. And He loves every heart that is deeply grieved. Turn away from these people. They are not worth a moment of your thoughts, time or attention. And they will answer for accusing believing men and believing women. This sin is so great in the eyes of Allah that in the Qur'an those who accuse chaste believing men and chaste believing women receive 80 lashes while those who actually commit the sexual act of indecency receive 100. So the punishment of rumour-spreaders is only 20 lashes less than the punishment of those who actually openly commit what their tongues accuse others of. And no, you are not obliged to forgive them. You have every right not to forgive them. Allah has given you that right. No one can take that away from you.
And Allah will raise you and elevate you for what you have suffered on account of their sharp tongues. So take Him as your Friend in every ease and difficulty. Surely He loves those who turn to Him and He loves those who purify themselves.
In the eyes of Allah, gender has no meaning. Our reality (souls) are neither male nor female. This is something related to our bodies only. So in the Qur'an, the fornicating man and the fornicating woman is given exactly the same punishment. Because 'We have created you from a male and a female and made you into nations and tribes that you may know one another. Surely the most honourable of you in the sight of Allah is the most pious' (Qur'an). But, the sad reality is that 'the community' that so many choose to worship, is not a community based on the values of the Qur'an. Therefore, a man is not equal to a woman. Therefore, it is more acceptable for a young man to indulge in promisuous behaviour whileit is absolutely abominable for a young lady to do the same. This is sexism. And it is not 'un-Islamic'. It is Anti-Islamic. This idea goes way back... all the way to the time of Jahiliyyah. And this is why in 'the community', sisters' reputations are very easily 'tainted'. Even if someone hears something about a sister, she is looked down upon. This is absolutely un-Islamic and inhumane. And we must change it. And we will change it... by being the change. Because if you have Allah... then you have all you need.
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| The strike of a tongue is harsher than the strike of an arrow-head'
-Ali ibn Abi Talib
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