Salaamun Alaikum dear brothers and sisters!
i hope that you are in the best of Iman and health.
So the past week has been so busy. My parents and little bro are moving country! Am i sad? Well, i know i'll miss them, especially my mother who is a pious lady through whom God has supported me in doing good... but change is good! i feel that this will is a necessary stage in my journey... and their journey. This will take us closer to God, inshaAllah.
Last Sunday was the Arba'een procession... which i don't want to speak about (not because i feel it was good or bad but just because i don't feel like writing about it atm!)
But there's something i would like to write about. It is this. In the past week a dear brother of mine's phone stopped working; he was suddenly unable to make calls. We found out that his phone, which he had bought just 1 week earlier (a REALLY beautiful, amazing, 'mashaAllah' phone!) would no longer be usable. This is probably because a previous owner acquired it unlawfully... in any case, my brother who had spent 4 months working for this phone, which he paid £300 for with his own wages, now realises that his phone is no longer usable... within a week of having received it.
Wow. That's deep...
Of course, i felt sad for him... but as i sat on the bench after Maghrib that evening, i felt as if Allah is guiding him through this. That Allah is guiding all of us, teaching all of us... so that we grow into something better than we are today, so that we continue advancing and moving forward, to take us higher, away from desire... because He is the One Who created and then guided His creation.
This world is a school and Allah is the teacher.
i imagined myself in his position. And then i began to think to myself that it wasn't only my brother who Allah intended to guide and remind and elevate through this incident... it was also me.
i thought to myself: imagine if i had worked 4 months, and spent that hard earned money on something i like (not a necessity, but a luxury). For example, an amazing phone or an ipad... firstly, though it is true that i would enjoy using it in the beginning, i ask myself: how long would that pleasure last? A day, a week? two weeks? A month? i am sure that after 2 months, that amazing device i so longed to have which is now in my possession... would not seem so amazing anymore.
And secondly, i wonder if having the item would increase my peace... or increase my worries? Would i be content with it? Or would i become more anxious to ensure that it is safe? Personally, i feel as if a greater load would be placed on me, while right now, without such luxury and not so good a phone, i do not seem too concerned... having it would be like an extra burden, like extra baggage weighing me down, a bird wishing to fly with metal chains attached to its feathers...
And thirdly, imagining myself in my brother's position, i thought to myself: Okay Haidar. You've imagined yourself having earned 4 months wages and spending it on something you desire. Now imagine that you had spend those 4 months wages in the way of Allah, by giving it away to a charity to help the needy. What then? In the beginning, i would feel it is a sacrifice (but then, where would be the fun of it if it wasn't?) because i could spend my money on something i would like... but once that money is gone from my hands in Allah's way, i would feel relieved. Why? Because had i spent that money on myself, that money would have been spent and finished. But as i spent that money not on myself, but in the way of Allah, that hard earned money will last forever, and will never diminish. Even if i never see it in this world (which i will), knowing it's spent in God's way, knowing that i do have the strength to sacrifice what i desire for God... is so empowering and gives me such a feeling of satisfaction. Because one who masters himself, nothing can master him.
'Do not be the slave of anyone - God has made you free'
-Imam Ali Ibn Abi Talib (a)
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